← 05 · SurrenderDay 32 of 40

Not my will

Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.Luke 22:42

He asked for the cup to pass. This matters: the surrender is not a pretense of having no preference. He wanted to live and said so. Then, in the same breath, he set his wanting inside a larger wanting and let the larger one decide. This is the whole of contemplative prayer: not the suppression of desire but its consecration. You bring what you want, honestly, and open your hand around it. The tradition calls it abandonment. It is the door every other practice has been quietly walking you toward, and this morning, hungry and light, you are standing in it.

Today's practice

Name the thing you most want right now. Say it aloud. Then say "nevertheless," and let the sentence finish itself.

The fast

Break the long fast at midday, gently: broth or fruit, then a small simple meal. Rest this afternoon. Supper light and early.

Kept on this device only.